The "Poor Me's"

Yeah, I have a case of them.

I was in horrible pain Monday night and went to the ER. I have a 3cm hemorrhagic cyst on my right ovary, two 3.5cm hemorrhagic cysts on my left ovary and my left ovary is over 8cm in size. (2.5-5 is "average")

OH and the icing on the cake... my lining is even thinner than it was at my midcycle scan, so even if the IUI was successful, implantation would be almost impossible.

I think I've cried once during the 19 months since we started trying to get pregnant... it was wine induced,  sloppy and months ago. But I feel a meltdown coming. SCREW YOU, INFERTILITY! I'm angry, I'm sad and I'm scared that it just won't happen for us. I get these horribly painful hemorrhagic cysts whether I'm on medicated cycles or not. I will be seeing an RE with a lot of experience with cysts once my period shows up.

I'm just feeling broken today. Physically and emotionally. I try to be so positive and so happy... I mean, look at E! Look at what she goes through on a daily basis - look at the fact that SHE IS HERE! What right do I have to sad? Well, today, I am.