May your past be the sound, of your feet upon the ground...

Carry on!

Well, IUI #2 was put off until next cycle - I messed up my back and was stuck in bed for a bit. I was really excited about this cycle! I started out 100% cyst free thanks to birth control and I was so optimistic. We had sex randomly, when I was up to it... but it wasn't often. Our chances are pretty much zero. Hopefully I can stay cyst free for next cycle - ehh, not too confident about that, though.

It's just so frustrating and July 1st we will hit the 2 year mark... that's a scary and overwhelming number. It's been such a long journey! So many ups and downs, tests, surgeries, medications, procedures, meltdowns, prayers... I've felt guilty, angry, sad, blessed, cheated and a million other emotions. All I know, without doubt and without question, is that I could not have gotten through these last two years (or the 6 years since E was born, for that matter) without Mr. M. Yes it's sappy and cliché, but he is my rock.

I had never heard about secondary infertility before it became my struggle... and even now, I have a hard time saying that I am struggling with infertility. I mean, I already have one child. It's just a very strange feeling... I'm not sure "where" I belong, where I fit. Yes, I have a child, but no - I never had first steps or first words. I know the world of motherhood through raising E. Hospitals, therapies, surgeries, feeding tubes, not being able to sit, walk, talk, roll etc... As new and scary as our life would be to most people, that's what having a healthy child would be like for us. And we yearn for that! We have learned to take it in stride, to look for the good. We know we are blessed and we are thankful for what and who we have in our lives everyday!

I'm not looking forward to July 1st, but we'll get through it. We'll keep on keepin' on! ;)