I've got my ticket for the long way 'round...

The one with the prettiest of views!

It's got mountains, it's got rivers...

It's got sights to give you shivers,

But it sure would be prettier with you!

I am addicted to this song... It gets stuck in my head for days on end!

I'm in party planning mode for E's birthday on the second, which is making the waiting to O portion of this cycle pretty easy. My monitoring appointment is 2 days before her party... if I've responded well, the IUI will be the morning of her party - what a busy/exciting day! Now, I just need sunshine so that the 25+ people can be outside instead of stuck in the house! Fingers crossed.

All I can say is... You've come a long way, Kid!

I remember being told she wouldn't survive her NICU stay, then that she wouldn't survive her first few months, THEN that she wouldn't see her first birthday. The doctors have finally stopped making predictions! She is a miracle and a fighter... the sky is the limit and every second of every single day is an absolute gift. I don't take a single smile, a single moment, a single breath for granted. Thanks for the reality check 6 years ago, baby girl! And thank you for teaching me how to be thankful for the small stuff (along with the big stuff).

Yes... I'm still around!

I'm ending my 6 week round of birth control pills this week... finally, we are back in the game!

Since I am finally cyst free (had an ultrasound this morning) I will be doing Femara, Ovidrel trigger shot and an IUI this coming cycle. It's on like Donkey Kong! Come on lucky month 23/cycle 16--- ew, I did not like typing that.

Soooo, E will be turning 6 in 13 days, can I just say, MIND = BLOWN! On one hand, it seems like she was just born. On the other hand, with all we have been through with her, it feels like it's been 20 years! I'm thankful for every second of it, though.

Sorry that this is short and to the point - but, laundry calls while the kiddo naps!

Caught off guard? Yup...

We found out yesterday that Emily will be having a major hip surgery in June. (we knew it was coming, but thought we had another 1-2 years, unfortunately, her xrays said otherwise.)

Her hips are on the verge of dislocating - the surgeon will be shortening both femurs, cleaning out the actual sockets and completely reshaping them. She will also be having the tendons all throughout her legs lengthened. She will be in the hospital (in Boston) for 1-2+ weeks, depending on her recovery. It will be a long and painful surgery (about 6-8 hours) and she will be in a cast/brace for 6 weeks and it will take about 6 months for her to fully recover from this surgery. She has never been under anesthesia for this long before... add in her pulmonary problems and you get two very scared and worried parents.

We KNOW she needs this surgery... but it's still the scariest thing we have faced so far! My heart breaks because she just won't be able to understand why she is in so much pain... why she can't kick her legs... why we can't bounce and play like we always do.

I hate that she has to deal with these things. I HATE that things have to be so hard for her.

Pills, Pills, Pills!

My body sucks. Plain and simple! I feel like it's failing me... and I'm done being sad about it. (for the moment)

Now, I'm just flat out mad. Infertility is not fair... for me, or anyone else struggling with it.

Thanks to these nasty cysts, when my next cycle starts, I will be doing 2 straight months of birth control pills. RE wants my ovaries to have a nice, cyst/follicle free break before starting more meds. It will be 2 months continuous - no sugar pills, so, no period either! So I'm in limbo... waiting to see if my cyst is shrinking or needs to come out, waiting for my next cycle to start. Bring it on, I got this :)

As far as the rest of the fam... Mr. M is great and ridiculously tan, I'm jealous! E got a nasty cold while we were on vacation and she is still fighting it. She is on the mend though, slowly but surely! It's strange... we are so used to MAJOR illnesses that a cold is something new for us to deal with, haha. We are all truckin' along!

Ahhh

Home from Cancun and feeling well rested! Nothing much to report on the TTC front... I had no follicles last week, just big cysts, so I'm just waiting it out. I will update more after my u/s next week checking on my cyst.

Cancun was beautiful... and the alone time with Mr. M was completely necessary!

Vacation...

Is that you? Not until Monday, but YES. (and I am more and more ready everyday)
 
I still have huge hemorrhagic cysts... well, as of this afternoon, cyst. I had one rupture (hello antibiotics)... and this was after a root canal bright and early this morning. I'm completely over today.  

The cyst on my right ovary is 6cm and it (along with my ovary) is so far behind my uterus it's almost on the left side. Sneaky sneaky! My RE gave me the option of removing it tonight or tomorrow and missing our trip, or using pain meds and doing NOTHING strenuous on vacation. I said no to surgery, but they have me penciled in for tomorrow morning in case something gets worse or I change my mind.

I'm hoping to find my happy, always optimistic self while we are gone next week. Well, I'm still optimistic, just not about adding to our family. I need to work on that. I'm all about being realistic, but it's still nice to have hope.

Just Keep Swimming...

     No real news... nothing exciting happening, just treading water. I still have cysts - My abdomen could start selling sports equipment soon: 1 the size of a golfball, 1 the size of a baseball and 1 the size of a softball. I'm not temping or using OPK's so who knows when or if I will ovulate. (I'm CD17 right now) I've been pretty down about the whole TTC thing lately, but I'm sure it will pass.

     We leave for Cancun in 10 days! I can't wait... But I am going to miss E like crazy! She is doing really well - knock on wood. She better keep it up while we are gone.

     My latest addiction? Rihanna "Stay"... Can't stop listening to it!