The Turth, The Whole Truth... Nothing but The Truth.

     Where should I start? How about the beginning...

     On May 12th, 2007 I married my soul mate, Mr. M - and on May 26th, 2007 (exactly 2 weeks later) I gave birth to our beautiful daughter, Emily. The honeymoon was over. 
     
     My pregnancy was uneventful, but my first month as a mother was anything but. When E was born, she seemed healthy - but she failed her newborn hearing test. Her pediatrician, Dr. Nelson, ordered a head ultrasound "just in case" and we waited to be released until the results were in.  Dr. Nelson came in, shut the TV off and we knew it wasn't good. All we were told was, "I'm not a neurologist, but it's not good.". We were sent home and told to call our local children's hospital and get her in with a neurologist, she was stable.

 

     We spent 7 days at home... waiting for her appointment, not knowing if we were going to lose her, not having any clue what was wrong.

     When we went to Boston Children's Hospital, E immediately went in for an MRI. Her neurologist asked for a private family room where he could speak to us... yet again, it can't be good news. We were told our baby girl, our perfect 10 day old, pink cheeked, fuzzy headed 8lb baby was missing the majority of her brain. The doctor didn't know if she had a series of strokes, a genetic disease or developed some kind of infection. We were also told that she had hydrocephalus, the fluid wasn't draining from around her brain... she needed emergency surgery. They drilled a hole in her skull and inserted a "drain"; the tubing goes under her skin all the way into her stomach where it drains. She was admitted to the NICU immediately.

     

      It was a long, hard 4 weeks. Em developed seizures, had a bleed after surgery and spent almost a week on a vent. Finally we had our "Family Meeting"... we sat at a table, in a room surrounded by doctors. We listened to them tell us she wouldn't see her first birthday, she would be blind & deaf, she would never move, smile, make a sound, never sit, roll over, walk or talk. She would be a vegetable. Our world crumbled. No first steps? No first words? No first date? We brought home our baby, not knowing how long we would have her.

    Cut to present day... our beautiful 5 year old is very much alive! It has been a long road... full of hospitalizations, surgeries, therapies and specialists. She uses oxygen now and then, she is unable to walk, talk or sit up, she can barely move her arms at all; she has a feeding tube and she is legally blind but let me tell you -- her smile and her giggle are infectious! This little girl loves life more than anyone I have ever met... and she has every reason and every right not to. She coos and yells, she kicks her legs when she is excited and she has perfect hearing. She is our miracle, our hope. We don't know how much time we have... but everyday is a blessing.

     In July 2011, after extensive genetic testing and the "OK" from the geneticist, Mr. M and I started trying for our 2nd baby. My cycles have always been whacky, but, E came from having sex twice without protection so, it was completely going to be a piece of cake. Yeah right. Here we are in November of 2012, 16 months later, no baby. (I could have almost had 2 by now!)  I had a lap&dye in February 2012 (a couple of small incisions, and dye was put into my fallopian tubes to make sure they were clear) Nope, they weren't. My doctor was able to clear one of my tubes, but not the other. It was a rough surgery... a blood vessel was cut and I ended up inpatient getting blood transfusions. No fun. I'm not ovulating on my own and have PCOS, there are a bunch of TINY painless cysts on my ovaries, so I have been taking medications to help out with that. Clomid gave me big cysts and thinned my lining so on to Femara. 
     
     I ovulated last week so now I'm just waiting to see what this cycle brings... I'm always cautiously optimistic, with everything in my life. This is no exception.