Ho Ho Ho!

A Christmas morning IUI? Don't mind if I do. I had 2 mature follicles at this mornings ultrasound... Which means I trigger tonight and head in for my IUI at 6:30am on Christmas.
My lining is the best it's ever been on a medicated cycle... 12mm with a triple stripe. She sure was a beauty. If nothing else, it makes for an extra exciting day!

Bloatzilla, raaawr.

Um, this is nuts. I look pregnant. I'm assuming it's the Femara but I have no clue. Anyone else legitimately feel/look like this on it...

Oh hey, here I am!

I've been MIA for a while... Things have been busy with Miss E.
Her right hip is fully healed from surgery but her left is still 100% broken where they cut the femur. It's producing tissue instead of new bone growth. She gets about 5 more weeks and if there is still no healing of the bone, she will have another surgery. Fingers crossed!

As for me - I'm finally back on a medicated cycle. I did 2.5mg of Femara and had a follicle check today on cd13.... Nada. Well, some itty bitty stuff. So I'm stair stepping for the first time ever and taking 5mg for 5 days starting today with another follicle check on Monday the 23rd. If I have a big, beautiful follicle or two... I will have an IUI on Wednesday. Yup, Christmas! 🎄 That would be a pretty great gift, but I'm not getting my hopes up. My last IUI was on Valentines day - we like holidays.

Come on, Monday!

Ahhhh...

That's a good "ahhh"... a relaxed, release. I finally have a few quiet minutes everyday, it's nice.

E is ok. She ended up spending some time in our local hospital last week. She was having these horrible screaming spells that could last up to 4 hours straight - nothing would console her. She doesn't cry unless she is in pretty severe pain... but she can't talk to let us know what's going on. The hospital checked her belly, lungs, head, hips and ran tests to check for seizure activity - everything was normal. We went home and the episodes got shorter and less frequent, so whatever it was, it seemed to resolved. Then Sunday morning... she stopped smiling. VERY strange for this kid. She had her physical on Tuesday and her doctor found a double ear infection, so that explains the lack of smiles. She has really had a hard 6 weeks and I can't wait for a bit of normalcy. She is still having a lot of hip pain with movement, which really sucks. I thought she would be further along at this point.

As for me... I'm on CD51. Not temping, so who knows if I've ovulated. We are planning on November or December IUI.

Here are some pictures of Em during her hospital stay - she had an EEG (a bunch of electrodes attached to her head to monitor brain activity) to check for seizures and one that shows 2 of her incisions from her hip surgery. They aren't gory or gross and actually look pretty amazing. She has 9 that are all similar in size.

Home Sweet Home.

Just wanted to give a quick update - We are home with a VERY sore, E. Surgery was long (10 hours) and hard... the surgeon had to work on one hip socket along with the femur. She was supposed to spend 24 hours in the ICU for monitoring, but it ended up being 5 days. She had a rough time and struggled with respiratory issues for the first few days. After 5 days, the epidural was removed and the real pain began. My heart broke a million times each day. For the first 24 hours after the epidural was pulled, we couldn't touch her anywhere without her screaming in pain. We spent 2 more days on the regular ortho until while the pain team worked to find the magic combo of meds that we could go home with.

We came home on Tuesday and have been trying to get settled. It's been a lot of work with little sleep - E is getting meds every 2 hours, around the clock. (I tried stretching it to every 3 hours last night and she woke up screaming.) I have been on med duty since Mr. M has to get up at 5am for work every morning... so I'm a little (understatement of the year) sleepy.

E just had a dose of valium and is napping away. I'm a little jealous.

Here are some pictures from her hospital stay ---

This one was taken yesterday, at home! Showing off her big, strong muscles :)

Tomorrow.

E goes into the OR tomorrow at 10:30am . I just keep staring at her - my eyes well up and I have to remind myself to breath. My mind goes to "worst case" scenarios. Thinking that there is even a 1% chance that your child may not wake up... may never sleep in her own bed again, it's gut wrenching.

What if...? What if...?

I KNOW how strong she is, I KNOW she is a fighter. I just wish she didn't have to fight so hard all of the time. I really do know that she will be okay, that her surgical team is incredible and she will be home soon enough. But, it doesn't stop me from worrying.

I'm crying while I type this and she is giggling away... I had to stop and smile.

My kid is pretty freakin' amazing.

Crazytown.

That's where I'm currently residing.

I've been so busy with Em's upcoming surgery, that TTC is kind of on the back burner. I mean, we haven't stopped trying, we just aren't trying as hard as we have been the last 2 years!

E had one of her pre-op appointments on Monday - this is the update I posted on her "prayers" page on FB to keep friends, family and even a few complete strangers updated on how she is. (Prayers For Emily)

"It was a long, stressful & emotional day in Boston! Em had labs, xrays, an ortho appointment, appointments with a pre-op nurse and anesthesia. What we learned from anesthesia: This is Em's biggest surgery. She has never been under for more than 2 or 3 hours and this will be anywhere from 5 to 8 hours. Based on her respiratory problems and neurological deficits, they estimated that there is a 10-20% that Em won't wake up or will need to be on the vent long-term. It's strange, when you hear that there is a 10-20% chance of something good happening... it seems so small, so unlikely. But when it's something scary? Those numbers seem so big. But we know Em, she's a fighter. She's got this. 80-90%? Those are some pretty great odds.

Ortho went over the surgery in detail. He will be breaking the top of her femur so that he can use pins and a plate to curve it into the hip socket. (I'm posting a picture that shows what I'm describing) He is hoping he won't need to reshape the sockets... but if he does, that will add 2 hours onto the surgery time. He will be lengthening her adductor and and hamstring muscles. The plan right now is to extubate her right after surgery and send her to the ortho floor instead of the ICU. If she can't be intubated right away or if there are any complication, they will send her to the ICU. A 100% uneventful surgery/stay would be a 4-5 day hospitalization - we were told that her stay will probably be about a week. They also cancelled her CT scan that was supposed to be Wednesday, they don't want her under anesthesia twice in two weeks.

We were given a lot of information today... our heads are still spinning, but I think this sums it up! Thank you so much for your thoughts - Please feel free to share this, the more prayers the better!"

This is what she will be having done to both hips: 

On a happy note... I FINALLY got my "Emily" tattoo last night. The timing made it even more special...

Raving!

About these freakin' pork chops! Seriously! So simple, fresh and delicious. I highly recommend giving them a shot. I added a little more balsamic and served them with cilantro lime brown rice and sliced cucumbers. NOM NOM!

Cheesy Bruschetta Pork Chops

MOAR vacation pictures!

Yup - that's all the entry is.

Chug Chug...

...Chuggin' along!

Nothing too exciting going on over here. Had a nice family vacation last week... 8 days on a lake in VT. No cable, no cell phone, it was VERY relaxing. (I DID buy internet for the week. Gosh, I'm not an animal!)

Em HATES cold water. Ok, she hates all water that is colder than bath water (gets that from me)... this picture shows how much of a daddys girl she is. (and borderline albino?) That water was chilly and she still smiled at him.

Now we are just waiting for her big pre-op appointment on the 26th and her surgery on September 3rd. I get a lump in my throat just thinking about it. Medicated cycles are on hold until after her surgery and probably a good month into her recovery. We will try on our own in the meantime and I might even pick up my BBT next cycle, it's been a while old friend!

It's been an uneventful week back from vacation. MrM had an old 2002 Dodge Stratus that died a few months ago (he's been using his motorcycle since) and it was time for a replacement. 2010 Hyundai Elantra - nothing fancy or new, very basic, but EXCELLENT gas mileage. (He drives about 70 miles round trip to work, so fuel efficiency is a plus)

That's the extent of this weeks excitement.

Oh, and we are going out to dinner tonight while E's nurse is with her. Bar food and a beer at a local brewery, yum.

I love food. The end.

Vacation, all I ever wanted! Vacation, had to get away!

First off... TTC related, I'm almost positive I'm out this cycle. I have all the PMS symptoms and AF will be here within the next week - The only good part of that? I'm on CD26 - WITHOUT meds. So this is how the other half lives! (The ones who don't need meds to ovulate and have 50-100+ day cycles) I could get used to this. But I won't.

We are planning our family vacation to a tiny cabin on a lake in the middle of nowhere in VT, we are leaving July 27th. (Mr M's uncle is half owner and we go every summer for 1 week) It's beautiful... but secluded. My OCD/anxiety ridden self (diagnosed, not one of those people who is like, "OMG I am sooooo OCD". Since E came along, OCD and anxiety have popped up. Did she have this med? Am I SURE she did? Make sure her oxygen is on... 10 times. and it is. Don't sleep, she might stop breathing! ETC...) well, the lists have started. First of all, we will be 3 1/2 hours from her hospital. The one with all of her specialists, the one who has known her since birth. We will be about 30 minutes from the nearest hospital - and that scares the shit out of me. I freak out for weeks before this vacation every year. Horrible panic attacks. Then everything is absolutely perfect while we are there. I don't know if I would consider it irrational, because I have reasons... and it doesn't interfere with our trip - it's always perfect. I'm just a list making, heart racing, over-packing basket case.

With all of that being said... the 3 of us NEED this time alone together and I can not wait. E is having her huge hip surgery on September 3rd... because of her respiratory issues and her brain damage and the fact that she could be under anesthesia for up to 8 hours - there is a 10-20% chance she won't wake up or will end up on the vent long term. (I will be asking for prayers on TB that day, even if it's in poor taste and completely unrelated to TTC.) We just really need this vacation to do absolutely nothing but enjoy eachother and every single giggle. So all of the stress leading up to it, is TINY when you look at the big picture :)

Anyways, I hope everyone had a nice 4th of July. We had a blast! Sun, swimming, grilling... perfection!

Mr M on the 4th...he has magical powers!

July 1st...

Today we hit the 2 year mark of trying to get pregnant... 24 months - that's 730 days. Those are some big, scary and overwhelming numbers. I'm having a rough day.
I know that we are doing all that we can and that should make me feel better... but it makes me feel worse. We are giving it all we can, doing everything "right" and it's STILL not happening? I'm just so angry and so sad all at the same time!

I'm going to cry it out today, drink some wine tonight and wait for a good day... thankfully, I'm blessed with FAR more good days than bad days!

On to happier news!
E was finally baptized on Saturday! In the Greek church, you receive your first communion at the same time as your baptism. The picture below is of E receiving her first communion... spoon in her mouth, smiling away at the priest! I love that little girl so much. It was a beautiful day, filled with so much love and hope. It was amazing. Her gown was made completely from my wedding dress!

Well, ok!

Well, CD1 arrived MUCH earlier than expected - I don't think I have EVER had a 29 day cycle. (thank you, femara) After talking with my RE's office about the timing of monitoring appointments and the IUI... we are just going natural this cycle. E is being baptized at the end of the month (which would be right around IUI day) and I have so much to do for that - I think a cycle without meds would be nice. So... IUI #2... on hold, again! (This time, I'm ok with it and was a part of the decision.)

Nothing else to report - I just got off the phone with my RE's nurse and wanted to update.

May your past be the sound, of your feet upon the ground...

Carry on!

Well, IUI #2 was put off until next cycle - I messed up my back and was stuck in bed for a bit. I was really excited about this cycle! I started out 100% cyst free thanks to birth control and I was so optimistic. We had sex randomly, when I was up to it... but it wasn't often. Our chances are pretty much zero. Hopefully I can stay cyst free for next cycle - ehh, not too confident about that, though.

It's just so frustrating and July 1st we will hit the 2 year mark... that's a scary and overwhelming number. It's been such a long journey! So many ups and downs, tests, surgeries, medications, procedures, meltdowns, prayers... I've felt guilty, angry, sad, blessed, cheated and a million other emotions. All I know, without doubt and without question, is that I could not have gotten through these last two years (or the 6 years since E was born, for that matter) without Mr. M. Yes it's sappy and cliché, but he is my rock.

I had never heard about secondary infertility before it became my struggle... and even now, I have a hard time saying that I am struggling with infertility. I mean, I already have one child. It's just a very strange feeling... I'm not sure "where" I belong, where I fit. Yes, I have a child, but no - I never had first steps or first words. I know the world of motherhood through raising E. Hospitals, therapies, surgeries, feeding tubes, not being able to sit, walk, talk, roll etc... As new and scary as our life would be to most people, that's what having a healthy child would be like for us. And we yearn for that! We have learned to take it in stride, to look for the good. We know we are blessed and we are thankful for what and who we have in our lives everyday!

I'm not looking forward to July 1st, but we'll get through it. We'll keep on keepin' on! ;)

I've got my ticket for the long way 'round...

The one with the prettiest of views!

It's got mountains, it's got rivers...

It's got sights to give you shivers,

But it sure would be prettier with you!

I am addicted to this song... It gets stuck in my head for days on end!

I'm in party planning mode for E's birthday on the second, which is making the waiting to O portion of this cycle pretty easy. My monitoring appointment is 2 days before her party... if I've responded well, the IUI will be the morning of her party - what a busy/exciting day! Now, I just need sunshine so that the 25+ people can be outside instead of stuck in the house! Fingers crossed.

All I can say is... You've come a long way, Kid!

I remember being told she wouldn't survive her NICU stay, then that she wouldn't survive her first few months, THEN that she wouldn't see her first birthday. The doctors have finally stopped making predictions! She is a miracle and a fighter... the sky is the limit and every second of every single day is an absolute gift. I don't take a single smile, a single moment, a single breath for granted. Thanks for the reality check 6 years ago, baby girl! And thank you for teaching me how to be thankful for the small stuff (along with the big stuff).

Yes... I'm still around!

I'm ending my 6 week round of birth control pills this week... finally, we are back in the game!

Since I am finally cyst free (had an ultrasound this morning) I will be doing Femara, Ovidrel trigger shot and an IUI this coming cycle. It's on like Donkey Kong! Come on lucky month 23/cycle 16--- ew, I did not like typing that.

Soooo, E will be turning 6 in 13 days, can I just say, MIND = BLOWN! On one hand, it seems like she was just born. On the other hand, with all we have been through with her, it feels like it's been 20 years! I'm thankful for every second of it, though.

Sorry that this is short and to the point - but, laundry calls while the kiddo naps!

Caught off guard? Yup...

We found out yesterday that Emily will be having a major hip surgery in June. (we knew it was coming, but thought we had another 1-2 years, unfortunately, her xrays said otherwise.)

Her hips are on the verge of dislocating - the surgeon will be shortening both femurs, cleaning out the actual sockets and completely reshaping them. She will also be having the tendons all throughout her legs lengthened. She will be in the hospital (in Boston) for 1-2+ weeks, depending on her recovery. It will be a long and painful surgery (about 6-8 hours) and she will be in a cast/brace for 6 weeks and it will take about 6 months for her to fully recover from this surgery. She has never been under anesthesia for this long before... add in her pulmonary problems and you get two very scared and worried parents.

We KNOW she needs this surgery... but it's still the scariest thing we have faced so far! My heart breaks because she just won't be able to understand why she is in so much pain... why she can't kick her legs... why we can't bounce and play like we always do.

I hate that she has to deal with these things. I HATE that things have to be so hard for her.

Pills, Pills, Pills!

My body sucks. Plain and simple! I feel like it's failing me... and I'm done being sad about it. (for the moment)

Now, I'm just flat out mad. Infertility is not fair... for me, or anyone else struggling with it.

Thanks to these nasty cysts, when my next cycle starts, I will be doing 2 straight months of birth control pills. RE wants my ovaries to have a nice, cyst/follicle free break before starting more meds. It will be 2 months continuous - no sugar pills, so, no period either! So I'm in limbo... waiting to see if my cyst is shrinking or needs to come out, waiting for my next cycle to start. Bring it on, I got this :)

As far as the rest of the fam... Mr. M is great and ridiculously tan, I'm jealous! E got a nasty cold while we were on vacation and she is still fighting it. She is on the mend though, slowly but surely! It's strange... we are so used to MAJOR illnesses that a cold is something new for us to deal with, haha. We are all truckin' along!

Ahhh

Home from Cancun and feeling well rested! Nothing much to report on the TTC front... I had no follicles last week, just big cysts, so I'm just waiting it out. I will update more after my u/s next week checking on my cyst.

Cancun was beautiful... and the alone time with Mr. M was completely necessary!

Vacation...

Is that you? Not until Monday, but YES. (and I am more and more ready everyday)
 
I still have huge hemorrhagic cysts... well, as of this afternoon, cyst. I had one rupture (hello antibiotics)... and this was after a root canal bright and early this morning. I'm completely over today.  

The cyst on my right ovary is 6cm and it (along with my ovary) is so far behind my uterus it's almost on the left side. Sneaky sneaky! My RE gave me the option of removing it tonight or tomorrow and missing our trip, or using pain meds and doing NOTHING strenuous on vacation. I said no to surgery, but they have me penciled in for tomorrow morning in case something gets worse or I change my mind.

I'm hoping to find my happy, always optimistic self while we are gone next week. Well, I'm still optimistic, just not about adding to our family. I need to work on that. I'm all about being realistic, but it's still nice to have hope.

Just Keep Swimming...

     No real news... nothing exciting happening, just treading water. I still have cysts - My abdomen could start selling sports equipment soon: 1 the size of a golfball, 1 the size of a baseball and 1 the size of a softball. I'm not temping or using OPK's so who knows when or if I will ovulate. (I'm CD17 right now) I've been pretty down about the whole TTC thing lately, but I'm sure it will pass.

     We leave for Cancun in 10 days! I can't wait... But I am going to miss E like crazy! She is doing really well - knock on wood. She better keep it up while we are gone.

     My latest addiction? Rihanna "Stay"... Can't stop listening to it!

   

MmmKay.

New RE was basically a bust. She told me my current doctor is doing a great job and it will just take time. She said IVF is an option and ups our chances but she feels we really can get pregnant without it. She ordered some repeat labs for cd3 and cd10 and a cd10 ultrasound... Nothing too exciting. No more clomid for me because of my lining and cysts.

Unless something crazy shows up in the labs, the plan is Femara next cycle, trigger and either timed intercourse or another IUI. (if my cysts have hit the road by then.) So for now, hurry up, wait and have some fun/sex with my husband. Oh yeah... And head to Cancun in less than 3 weeks :) We need this break but the thought of leaving E for 5 days is literally breaking my heart.

Worst.Moment.Ever

One minute you are holding and bouncing your giggling child, the next - they are convulsing and gasping for air... in your arms.

I experienced my scariest moment as a mom this morning... E's first ever grand mal seizure. It only lasted a couple of minutes, but it felt like an hour! She has a seizure disorder, but has NEVER had anything like this happen before. We have O2/heart rate monitors, oxygen, and valium so we were able to give the 911 operator and the paramedics a lot of specifics. I can't say thank you enough to the amazing team who helped us both over the phone and in person.

E is on 2 seizure medications and because of some vomiting last night, her levels were a little lower than her therapeutic range... and when I say a little, I really do mean a little. It's scary that such a small change can result in something like that.

She was given the valium at our house and two doses of each of her seizure meds at the hospital. We are home now and she is knocked out from all of the medications. Once she stopped seizing, while she was leaving the house with me, Mr M and the paramedics... she actually giggled. She was exhausted, but smiling. She is seriously the strongest person I have ever met in my entire life.

CD1

Well... IUI #1 was officially a bust. I knew it would be; my doctor knew it would be - but I still wanted to hold onto some hope.

Wine will be flowing tonight, oh yes, wine will be flowing.

The "Poor Me's"

Yeah, I have a case of them.

I was in horrible pain Monday night and went to the ER. I have a 3cm hemorrhagic cyst on my right ovary, two 3.5cm hemorrhagic cysts on my left ovary and my left ovary is over 8cm in size. (2.5-5 is "average")

OH and the icing on the cake... my lining is even thinner than it was at my midcycle scan, so even if the IUI was successful, implantation would be almost impossible.

I think I've cried once during the 19 months since we started trying to get pregnant... it was wine induced,  sloppy and months ago. But I feel a meltdown coming. SCREW YOU, INFERTILITY! I'm angry, I'm sad and I'm scared that it just won't happen for us. I get these horribly painful hemorrhagic cysts whether I'm on medicated cycles or not. I will be seeing an RE with a lot of experience with cysts once my period shows up.

I'm just feeling broken today. Physically and emotionally. I try to be so positive and so happy... I mean, look at E! Look at what she goes through on a daily basis - look at the fact that SHE IS HERE! What right do I have to sad? Well, today, I am.

Moves Like Jagger...

Went and saw Maroon 5 (Owl City and Neon Trees, too) with some of my favorites last night! We weren't close at all... But it was still amazing. Love me some Adam Levine.

IUI, done.

 It was more painful and took longer than expected but it went really well! This is going to be a looong 2WW. I will probably cheat and test on 2/25 if my trigger has tested out by then (11dpiui) since it's my birthday :)

Mr. M had some beautiful flowers delivered to me for Valentines day and bought me a bottle of my favorite perfume! (Coco Mademoiselle) We did some shopping after the IUI (spoiled each other a little more) and had a nice sushi lunch... Hopefully I won't be able to enjoy raw fish for 9 months ;) It was an absolutely amazing day!

 

Yum!

Cupcakes make everything better... even shots.

A HUGE thank you to Mrs. L for the tasty treats! Love you, lady!

Survey Says...

A Valentines Day IUI!

My lining was good, but we will switch to Femara if this cycle  doesn't work. I had 2 dominant follies on my left side (21mm and 18mm) which is my side with the good tube! I will be triggering tonight... And having the IUI Thursday!

Bring it on!

Woah!

Shit just got real! My ovidrel and Sharps container came today. FX for a big and beautiful follie (or 2) next week!

I sent Mr. M the picture I'm posting below and he responded with, "I love you and I'm so happy we are so close to having a real shot at this!" Aww, I think I will keep him.

Sorry this picture is huge, I will fix it when I'm not on the mobile app. (ignore the messy table. I was a crazy woman opening the box. Bubble wrap was flying!)

*Ultrasound Update*

CYST FREE! Starting clomid on Sunday. Wooo!

On an unrelated note... Mr M and I just booked our trip to Cancun - without E. I'm having major anxiety, but between my mom and E's amazing nurse, she will be in great hands! March 25th-29th... I'm really hoping that I will have an amazing reason not to drink, but if it doesn't work out that way... hello ALL inclusive!

<== Our resort! The Omni Resort and Villas

Oh hey there!

CD1... let's get this show on the road, bitches!

Ultrasound today to check for cysts... saying some extra prayers.

You know you are old when...

... The highlight of your day is buying a new fridge. Yup, it happened yesterday. The sexy little minx won't arrive until February 17th , though. Damn you, Sears. Damn you.

Thankful.

Thankful for all of the prayers that went Em's way and for the fact that after an 8 days hospital stay, she is home. She is using supplemental oxygen 24/7 which is not her "normal" but hopefully we can wean that down.

I have to call today to have my doctor do a prior authorization for the Ovidrel I'll be using next cycle... if AF ever decides to make an appearance. I was so spoiled on medicated cycles, actually having my period every month... that's just silly. I'm impatient. REALLY impatient. Maybe because I am so anxious/excited for the IUI? I don't know but I'm definitely getting a little crazy cakes while I'm waiting!

Screw you, Flu!

E was diagnosed with the flu on Sunday and we have been in the hospital ever since. Her health issues made it a pretty serious and complicated situation for a few days... But we are out of the woods and on the mend now! Hoping to be home tomorrow or Saturday!

I guess I don't really have much else to update on. The TTC front is quiet - just waiting on my period so that we can get the IUI ball rolling.

Oh, and I miss my bed and sleeping next to my husband. A lot. And wine... I really, really miss wine!

C'mon...

I want to start my period. Yeah,  that's right. I'm only on CD21 and rarely start on my own before CD50+ plus my doctor said surgery can slow things down and they wait a bit longer before giving provera to induce AF. (To make sure the uterine lining has healed)

We are definitely doing clomid, ovidrel and IUI next cycle! As long as I can stay cyst free... which I haven't been since September. Say a prayer that those suckers stay away!

As for my surgery - I had stage 2 endo removed, a softball sized endometrial cyst - which came back with normal pathology (not cancer), large amounts of scar tissue and my blocked tube WASN'T 100% cleared. The official report says that the dye may have trickled through --- so who knows.

I'm feeling pretty good... hopeful, excited and optimistic. Always optimistic.

Appointments, Appointments, APPOINTMENTS!

This week is crazy. I have to call 6 of E's specialists to schedule follow-ups. (She sees about 10 and has follow ups every 4-6 months with each of them) I've gotten 2 of those calls done so far. I also have to fight/dispute a $16,000 bill for a chest PT vest that insurance is refusing to help with at all because E doesn't have cystic fibrosis. We have appealed it twice and it's still being denied... apparently 2 hospitalizations for respiratory illness since having the vest, compared to 5-10/year prior to the vest, isn't a good enough reason for them to cover it at least partially. Frustrating, but we have a fight like this every month or so. (for different therapies, specialists, equipment, medical supplies etc... it never ends)

Tomorrow, we have to be in Boston (about 55 miles from us) for an 8am ortho appointment for E, which with traffic, means leaving at 6am. Then I have my post op appointment at 2:30pm.

Thursday should be quiet, aside from E's regular physical therapy and occupational therapy appointments. And FRIDAY I get to sit down with RE to figure out our plan for next cycle. THIS appointment I'm excited for! She has mentioned Clomid (my lining thinned on it by my 4th cycle but the first few, everything was great.) since I have been off of it for months and my lining is nice and thick, trigger and our first IUI. So we will talk about it more and schedule my nurse visit to go over everything for the trigger. I love having a plan. Now big cysts... stay the eff away!

Hey there, 2013!

Was 2012 great? Not even close. Could it have been worse? Of course!

Things about 2012 I am thankful for...

1. My faith has grown stronger.
2. My marriage grew stronger than I ever thought possible.
3. E fought illness and defied odds, EVERYDAY, with her strength.
4. I reconnected with my best childhood friend who has grown into an AMAZING and beautiful wife, mother and woman. I'm thankful everyday for her friendship.
5. My MIL fought and beat breast cancer.
6. My mom had her 3 year checkup after her double mastectomy and is STILL cancer free.

Notice a pattern?
2012 was a year of strength for my family.

Some things that brought me down?

1. E dealt with some scary health issues. A couple that left us wondering if she would be coming home from the hospital with us.
2. We spent all of 2012 trying for baby #2, with no success. (and hit month 18 on January 1st)
3. My first laparoscopy in February didn't go as planned. I ended up inpatient, with blood transfusions and unable to care for my child alone, fully, for over a month due to lifting restrictions.
4. My MIL was diagnosed with breast cancer.

But the good outweighs the bad. Always.

2013 will be a year of hope. Hope for extending our family, hope for good health for our friends and family and hope for continued strength.

HAPPY 2013!